written anything in ages. Where does time go I wonder. You know
what it's like, you look back and BANG, a month has passed, before
you know it BANG, two months gone , right there!
Actually I joined a gym last month, so that explains where a good
proportion of my free time has gone. With the membership costing
me nearly fifty pounds a month I am determined to get my money's
worth out of it, and so far I've been going about three times a
week. It's pretty good fun actually. I have to say the first couple
of weeks were awful, I'd go and do my workout program damn near
killing myself in the process. But I quickly saw my body tone up
and I have to confess that I found that very rewarding.
Now I sail through my given workout, so I have added some new machines
to the program. I'm currently trying to regain my six pack which
was, as I recall, only ever a four pack. In fact after just one
week of doing that new 'six pack machine' I have seen a difference,
though I'm concerned that my four pack may only be a two pack now.
I have to confess though that the whole fitness freak lifestyle
has remained just the other side of my understanding. Like everyone
I see people jogging and stuff and I think to myself why would anyone
do that. Joining the gym was something I did more for the relaxation
factor than anything else. I have finally gotten to a point where
I can afford to be a member of such a place, so why not. I never
expected for one minute to actually get as much enjoyment out of
punishing myself as I apparently do.
Perhaps if I am not careful I'll become a gym junkie? One of those
people who spends their whole life in a tracksuit drinking from
a squeezable plastic bottle and running everywhere instead of walking.
I mean for goodness sake I have even changed my diet to try and
cut out some of the fatty stuff. Daft really when you consider that
I am a slim guy to start with anyway.
I must been vanity I suppose. I've never considered myself to be
vain, but here I am talking about wanting to have a six pack, going
to the gym in search of the elusive 'perfect body' and putting myself
through pain in order to gain what? I pretty much wear Gap clothes
all the time which are on the whole all baggy, so it's not like
anyone would see my 'Action Man' body should I actually get one.
I don't consider myself to be vain but I wonder if those who know
me think I am? However that could be a can of worms right there
couldn't it. To start pondering how others consider me. I tend not
to think about it really, and if asked I'd say I don't care. But
do I? Sure I do, we all do, though of course we all say we don't.
For example, Louise, one of the hairdressers from downstairs, today
suggested that I was like Alex Sibley from Channel 4's Big Brother.
I was curious as to what she meant, so I invited her to elaborate.
I wish I hadn't because she ended up, in a roundabout manner, saying
that I'm camp. CAMP!!! I protested but then, as so often happens,
the rest of the hairdressers all got involved in the conversation.
Pretty soon the entire shop was saying how they could quite easily
imagine me as a gay man! Pam, another hairdresser, said she could
imagine me as a "trolley dolly" while Wenda, the boss,
agreed that I would make "a good woman!!!"
Now it's fair to say that I am not exactly a 'mans man,' I'm not
into football (though I am watching the world cup), I don't like
getting my hands dirty, I know nothing about cars and I don't wolf
whistle at fine young ladies in short skirts. But camp I am not.
I am fairly sure that if asked my friends would say that I have
a finely tuned appreciation for the fairer sex. They would describe
me in many ways I'm sure, and I can confidently say that I don't
think camp is a word that any of them would use.
But it's out there now. The whole campness thing is lurking in the
background of my thoughts. Am I going to become paranoid that I
have too much of a spring in my step, or a wiggle in my hips? Is
my voice too high? What do I do with my hands when I talk? Is it
at possible that I, Simon Jones, have an inner camp guy who is somehow
finding ways to make himself seen and heard? Oh God, please no!
Ah what the heck. It doesn't matter what people think anyway does
it... or does it?