Well that's Easter over and done with. But what is the relevance of an egg?
I thought Easter was about Jesus getting nailed to a big cross then
dying? I can't see the egg connection myself. Still, I guess that somewhere
there is one.
Staying with the whole church/religion theme, let me tell you about something
that has somewhat annoyed me recently. A friend of mine
came up to Birkenhead this past weekend with his wife and on Sunday she
went to a local
'church' she used to attend which I'll call the
'We're all Christian Centre' so as to protect its identity.
On its own this isn't the most eventful bit of news, but here's where
it relates to me. While there some religiously brain washed follower approached
my friends wife and told her that I had written something on my website
about her that was "not very nice." There seemed little point in
making this claim as it wasn't difficult to prove this to be without even
the smallest grain of truth. The person who made this claim, who I'll call
Steven Prickly, was
obviously either lying or guilty of listening to some other gossip rubish
dreamed up by someone else.
This incident on its own would have perhaps just seemed humorous to me if
it wasn't for the fact that this person who made the claim has never once
met me, doesn't know me, and has obviously just listened to gossip
he's heard about me.
I am puzzled as to why Mr Prickly, his sidekick who I shall call
Karen Inner-Man, and all the other 'centroids' who attend this 'church'
have such a strange fascination with the goings on of my life. What possible
motivation lies behind making up such a easily dispelled claim? Sadly
this would seem to be typical of the kind of behavior one can expect
from many of the people who attend the 'We're all Christian Centre.'
I suppose though it's the price of my infamy within the 'We're all
Christian Centre.' After all, I was once a member of that place myself.
Some four years ago (1994) the preacher, who I'll call Rev. Paul Epsom,
took exception to the fact that his hormonally-charged daughter, who I'll
call Natasha, visited to my flat on many occasions to get something a little
more than merely spiritual input! Apparently this was somehow all my fault
Daddy decided that he'd put an end to Natasha's little visits by booting
me out of his dodgy cult like 'church' without so much of a word of warning.
One sunny Sunday morning in 1994 The Rev. Epsom marched up to his throne
and announced that I was disfellowshipped
the 'church') for sexual immorality!
No mention was made about 'Miss Horny Wirral,' the ever spotless Natasha.
Instead she dutifully sat in stony silence next to her mother,
who I'll call Evil
in Epsom for
Rev. Epsom's hostile actions on that day had damaging and discouraging
effects throughout the lives of many of my friends at the time. Some had
the 'church' for many years, and
threatened with the same punishment if they continued to associate with
me in any way.
Despite the biblical principles of Matthew
18:15-18, at no point did Rev. Epsom attempt
to contact me about the alleged sexual immorality. I was forced to
demand a meeting with him to learn his explanation for such
a draconian action. In the end
itself. He threw all sorts of accusations at me that were either just
secondhand rumors or snippets of groundless gossip
he had listened to.
I asked him why, if
he was so concerned, had he not approached me to find out whether
listened to was even true. He said what has now become a timeless
classic quote, "Whether it's true or not is irrelevant!" He went on to boast
"I can do what I want in my church."
forewarned by those who knew the man better than I did, that the meeting
would merely be an exercise that would change nothing as Epsom ruled
"his church" with the iron fist of a power crazed megalomaniac. Sadly
they were right. Despite the fact that he simply had no response to many
of my challenges, after a one and a half hour meeting the outcome was,
as expected, unchanged.
thing that bothers me the most about the Pastor Epsom is the fact that
he is supposed to be a 'man of God.' However his overly comfortable
his heavy-handed technique seem so removed from those of the Bible
that he is only a Pastor
of a worthless title.
Four years have passed since this ill-conceived graceless incident.
At the time Epsom announced that God had told him I would "run
and leave the area, that I would "soon be gone." But I have
done nothing of the sort. I have simply gone on with my life despite
occasions when members of the 'We're all Christian Centre' seek
to stir up trouble for no logical reason. I can only but speculate
the motives behind such acts may be to provide an element of drama
and ephemeral diversion to what might otherwise be a boring life. But
really, who knows?
Oh and finally, a message to those from the 'church' who may read
this. In my capacity as 'poster bad guy' for the 'We're all Christian
Centre' I am now taking bookings for private functions like prayer
meetings and house groups, although you'll have to provide the stick-on
horns for me!